A
time to grief and mourn.
When
tragedy struck, how long do we need to recover?
Or
do we ever fully recovered from a major and permanent loss? Loss of a loved one
or a shattered dream of having a child?
Given
a certain amount of time after the tragedy, can we rejoice even when there are
some good news around us? We probably do not have the heart to feel any joy.
I believe that the grieving and mourning
process has an unknown time limit. Even if the rational mind chooses to accept
the truth and realities of life, the emotions may refuse to “ let go” or “move
on”. Why is it so? How can this happen
to us?
It
is as though the spirit/mind is willing but the flesh/emotions is weak.
I
believe that one of the reasons could be due to our mental fixations or attachments
to certain emotional securities, desires, wishes, hopes and expectations from life and
our fantasized future. So unless, we gradually give up these deeply rooted dreams
and replace it with a new reality, we may remain in a state of mental fixations
and prolong mourning.
For
example, a wife eagerly wishes to see that she could grow old with her loving
and caring husband, travel the world together and spend happy days with their
grandchildren. She was devastated when her husband died due to a sudden heart
attack because she suddenly suffered not a loss but multiple losses of her
sense of emotional security, hopes, dreams, desires and plans. She has to nurse
her wounds of losses and gradually gather her courage rewrite her plans, hopes
and dreams. She needs to redefine her sense of security.
Hence,
we need to mourn over our losses. We need to undergo emotional work. We need to
digest, process and let time heal our wounds, hurts, disappointments,
insecurities and probably guilt.
We need time.
So,
to those who are out there mourning, give yourself time to grief, mourn and
heal. Give yourself time to realign your desires, hopes and dreams with the
Truth and Realities of life.
And
hopefully, we will all be healed and be able to find the courage to continue to
embrace life on earth with all its peace, wonder, meaning, good pleasures as
well as its challenges and growing pains.
Let
us not walk alone but journey together with our fellow brothers and
sisters.
Vincent
